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  • Mindz Xmas efforts

    Life is good, being a felon sux.
    Finding steady work as a 3x felon has been a shitty objective to accomplish brahs.

    The woman I've been seeing since 1/11/2016 was robbed this year , it's a gigantic cluster fuck if don't make sense...

    Day/Night 1 ; her house is destroyed/wrecked/tossed , amazingly the only items missing was her boys disk light. Valuables are not taken, guns are not taken, APPEARS to be a staged robbery. My thoughts? Her crazy ass husband tossed the place to make it look like a robbery to get her on his shoulder n shit....

    Day/Night 2 ; her not quite yet legally separated husband decides to stake out the imo faked ass robbery, and imo he set up some schmucks he was being a gay dick sucking lover with to show up to be his Patsy's / fall guys.

    That ***** shot a dude in the face and imo the only reason that makes sense to me is attractive to catch a dead body cuz dead men tell no tales.

    Don't believe this Jerry springer / Lifetime level shit? Check out the fkn local news interview that happened the next day.

    http://www.wcyb.com/news/virginia/sm...tion/625018757

    I can't make this shit up ;( Any ways I'm looking for donations for her kids Christmas.

    PayPal is what I got right now. We're all staying at her parents essentially trying to sale Knick Knack on Facebook Marketplace. It's halfassed working, we signed up for.Santas elves. Anything.u. can do to help, it's appreciated. My PayPal info is attached to


    [email protected]

    If u donate much appreciated, if ya wanna harp on me or something (Michael) just shoot me a PM fkr

    Thanks , I'll post credits to those who helped if ya want it. Add to my signature special thanks or something. Give u a handjjob or some shit jk jk

    Want to get into playing Quake again? Click here for the Multiplayer-Startup kit! laissez bon temps rouler!


  • #2
    I don't want to harp on you, bro. I didn't want to harp on you before. Believe it or not, I give some amount of fucks and it makes me sad to see what a mess everything has become for you. I'm not the type to pat you on the back and tell you everything is going to be OK. I'm more the type to punch you in the chest and tell you you are a fuckin moron. It's done with love, bro....a wake-the-fuck-up kind of love. I know it's a complete waste of my breath, though.
    http://www.nextgenquake.com

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    • #3
      Hey Mind, Sorry to hear about all of this. I just sent you a PM, get back with me.

      Comment


      • #4
        Sorry to read that the shit doesn't stop to hit the fan. Hope you and your woman are through with the obstacles and downers. And being a christmas elf is better than being out of work... I think.

        All good success for you both!!!

        I once was a Ranger like you. But then i took a rocket to the knee.
        My little gore mod : http://quakeone.com/forum/quake-mod-...76473-gore-mod

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        • #5
          Oh my god Mindz you're not in prison?
          Oh my god I'm so happy-- you weren't on the Q1DM Discord channel anymore and I feared the worst.


          Why haven't you logged into Steam at all in the past 3 months?
          I got the Mortal Kombat XL expansion for MK10 back in like October, (tippy end of the Halloween Sale) and I don't have anyone to play that game with.


          You guys shouldn't be so hard on Mindz, not because he can't take it, but because it isn't warranted.
          I'm the one who need a kick in the ass to get my shit together.
          Last edited by H1CC; 12-18-2017, 04:33 AM.

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          • #6
            Didn't meant to be hard on him, shit happens and mostly it doesn't stop if you start to get you shit together. I feel sorry for him and his girlfriend. That's a cruel thing to heppen, not mentioning the anxiety, bad mood and unsureness it causes. Edit: Also, who am i to judge some guy and his life on the other side of the planet?

            But, H1CC, whoever you are, get your fuckin' shite togetha ore ay kigh ye arse ! Stop living like that and get fo' reel !! Starto believe in somming !!!



            Edit2: And STOP collecting dead dogs in your fridge!
            Last edited by TheKillingJoke; 12-18-2017, 08:21 AM.
            I once was a Ranger like you. But then i took a rocket to the knee.
            My little gore mod : http://quakeone.com/forum/quake-mod-...76473-gore-mod

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by TheKillingJoke View Post
              STOP collecting dead dogs in your fridge!
              ..
              But after the deer started dwindling & the wolves couldn't go as far because of the lack of deer then the coyotes started expanding territory where the wolves were and I started to really like the taste of Coyotemeat on top of Venison...
              *sniffs* 'snot my fault. I do want to do more to be proactive and go after what I want, o' course, o' course massa KillinJoke. But I just wind up sittin' on mah front porch naked and being reactive to the wildlife and petty foul-mouthed strangers instead... Sheriff accused me of "running from the Law by staying in place" with mah "arms tied around my back with my own guns" 'cause "I use my guns to hide my problems from myself" or someshit laieke thaiat. *sniff* Had to cook him up somethin' quick-like sose I don't get found out shootin' him on the spot too.


              An I do like bein' whipped for bein' a bad boy but that doesn't make me want to get off my ass, makes me want to lose weight, so I can fit into those skinny jeans and be a bad boy harder... *cocks head sideways* you understand that, don't you KillinJoke?
              But Yes master, I will find something to believe in... but the dogs, I mean, sometimes they stop being good pets after I wean one off of a bear trap or somethin'... stop goin' feral on me... I just want a wolf for a dog but they don't make wild grey wolves that stick with humans for companionship like the domesticated ones even though they're not domesticated, no suh, no they don't. No, master please! Mercy!!! *sniffs* I want a nice, sweet wolf to whip me harder like you can't. *squirms* No, no, no wait Master I didn't mean it like that--


              BDSM jokes aside, yeah, telling myself to get my act together is an act of recognition, not motivation.
              It's kind of like, as a natural mechanism, you won't want to even so much as get out of bed in the morning unless there is already something you want to do... and then that just... applies pretty much equivalently to "getting shit done" in general. I guess the problem is that I don't know what I want. And even if i did, I'd probably have an awful hard time "doing what is necessary" given the long time of not having had genuine motivation before for so long that I wouldn't know how to handle it when I were finally motivated to get shit done in general...


              You know what, maybe Mindz isn't necessarily somehow "better" than me for handling his situation better. Lord knows his whole community is used to dealin' with overcriminalization bullshit. Me, I just do shit all day anyway 'cause of the lack of meaningful personal relationships throughout my whole life.
              I just figure that "how badly you do for your own situation" varies far more with the oierall degree of the severity of just "not having anyone that you really relate to as a close companion & in your surroundings". I've missed that shit almost in its entirety... No wonder I've never gotten around to doing anything I've really wanted to do in Life.


              I've got no choice, I gotta nail it with actually spending time with those few friends I've managed to have thus far...
              Need to get my priorities in order through practice rather than Writing. And cut down on the "oversharing"! Though I do want to fit into those skinny jeans... 'course... it wouldn't necessarily be jeans...



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              • #8
                H1CC
                I can relate with a lot of the things you wrote. One does not simply get his act together. That's one of the flat and hollow bullshit phrases. I can't motivate you, but i thank you for the funny read of the first part, that lets me giggle a few times after a broken and outright exhausting day.

                "You know what, maybe Mindz isn't necessarily somehow "better" than me for handling his situation better."
                He is the best one to clear out his own problems, like we all are. And i bet he fits into the skinny jeans. Pratice combined with an aim is one of the keys, that's so true that it is nearly obscene.
                Now i go, kill me some Demons and hope that Christmas is somewhat nice for you guys, despite the shit you go through! Seriously.
                I once was a Ranger like you. But then i took a rocket to the knee.
                My little gore mod : http://quakeone.com/forum/quake-mod-...76473-gore-mod

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                • #9
                  Prison... now guns are getting used... do you see the pattern and where the path is leading? Dunno you, don't know a thing about you, but here's some advice from someone who's been there and lived through it: get the fuck out while you're still alive, she's gonna get you killed.

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                  • #10
                    I feel sorry for him and his girlfriend....
                    - Spanish dictionary -

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                    • #11
                      H1CC

                      @telling myself to get my act together is an act of recognition, not motivation.
                      It's kind of like, as a natural mechanism, you won't want to even so much as get out of bed in the morning unless there is already something you want to do... and then that just... applies pretty much equivalently to "getting shit done" in general.

                      I think this is what separates the Men/Women from the Boys/Girls. You have to dig deep and override the depression and inaction that keeps you down. It literally is as simple as completely ignoring whatever you have going on internally and forcing yourself to do something no how much you don't want to do it. The funny thing is, once you do this (and especially the more you do it) all those blockers that kept you down start fading away. Sometimes this can even happen while you are in the middle of doing whatever it is that you are forcing yourself to do. It is definitely based on attitude though. If you bitch and complain and feel miserable about it from one end to the other then that's what you will be. I could give you numerous examples from my own life over the past few months. It may even be true that the last few months for me have been day followed by day of "I REALLY don't want to do or deal with ANY of this." but, I'm a stubborn S.O.B. I can dig deep and switch my "I dun wanna" with "I'm gonna get this shit the fuck over with".

                      Let me give you one example. I just got a new job (a really good one). For the first time in as long as I can remember I needed all the up-to-date paperwork establishing my identity in order to finalize my employment. I tried to pass off some expired stuff and replacement documents. At first it seemed like it was going to fly. It didn't.

                      On Thursday my mother went to the hospital. I was up all night because of this. I get a call at 8am Friday morning telling me my documents are not going to fly. I ask if we can wait til Monday to handle this. I was told "no problem". Within about 1 hour I did that whole dig deep thing and decided "I'm gonna get this shit the fuck over with". I stopped driving a while back because it made no financial sense for me to keep a vehicle. I was driving like 20 miles a week and paying like half my rent to do it. So, exhausted, I caught 2 busses home to grab some documents, caught 2 busses damn near back to where I already was to get a current ID. I then caught one bus halfway back and switched gameplans. I got on a different bus and headed to the SS office. I did my shit there flipped around the corner and caught a completely different bus to my nearest bank. Due to roadwork the end of the line was damn near a mile from my bank. I walked the rest of the way, hit the bank and used my ID to change my address at the bank. I then caught 2 busses back to the hospital.

                      All I needed was an ID. Do you think I wanted to spend 5 hours on busses and walking in freezing temperatures while totally exhausted with my mother potentially going to die in the hospital? No, of course I REALLY REALLY didn't want to do any of that. I could have spent nowhere near 5 hours on the bus and just got my ID which was the only thing I needed. This is an example of blockers fading away in the middle of you ignoring them. At what could have been the end of my trip I got a second wind and decided "let's just get EVERYTHING done". My round trip that day was something like 60 miles. 60 miles on city busses and foot.

                      The only way to get over the blockers is to completely ignore them at all costs, take your "self" shove it in an "iron box" and focus on your responsibilities, NO MATTER WHAT. NO EXCUSES. NO THOUGHTS. NO FEELINGS. There is just GO and DO. This is actually the secret to doing whatever the fuck you want in this world. If you can have confidence in yourself that at any second you can completely stop and handle your business with no regard to "want" and you KNOW undeniably that whatever it is you have to do WILL be accomplished, everything in your life becomes something that is tentative to your terms. The only thing to determine is how hardcore are you and be real honest about it. If you are so hardcore you can "last second" everything and never fail then the world is your oyster. Do whatever you want whenever you want. From there it starts working backwards from almost whatever you want whenever you want all the way down to "I can never do what I want cause there is not an ounce of get-it-done in me. My life is just idle wasted time and missed opportunities".

                      @I guess the problem is that I don't know what I want. And even if i did, I'd probably have an awful hard time "doing what is necessary" given the long time of not having had genuine motivation before for so long that I wouldn't know how to handle it when I were finally motivated to get shit done in general...

                      Write. Dream and write and focus and think and repeat. Your eraser is just as important as the writing end of your pencil. Share. Share those dreams and thoughts and ideas with other people. Especially share them with people that will tell you that you can't do it and get mad. Use that fire to prove them wrong. 10 years ago I was told there is no way I could form a paint company with no vehicle and no tools. My first job was for $19,860. I got a $2000 material deposit before I started the job and bought all the tools. I knew plenty of people with vehicles. Don't tell me "can't". I will fucking destroy you. I have a "can't" going on right now or more specifically a negativity toward an idea I have. I am going to fucking destroy. I will come out ahead.

                      That brings me to the final thing. Notice how I talk. I am. I will. I can. My spirit is one that refuses to acknowledge that it is even possible for it to be defeated and in the times where it does actually get defeated I spend pretty much zero time considering it. I just move on to the next I am, I will, I can. Optimism my bro. Shoot for Pluto and you will probably at least hit the Moon. If the shuttle crashes, just build a new one. Never look back or down.

                      I built a website in 1 month and 14 days that could easily be used as a replacement for this one. I started over TWICE. I also created 2 web apps in the process. This site can't even get colored in like 6 months. The "reason" given is "I can't", "I don't", "I'm not". There's the juxtaposition of spirit and attitudes and the difference in results. I built my site live on my domain. No private server or local host. I did it that way because my attitude was "I am going to build this so fast and so obviously moving forward that just clicking a link to the next page will reveal changes"

                      My message to you H1CC is to CRUSH your blockers with a spirit and drive that doesn't allow you to be blocked. Turn yourself into a wrecking ball and give yourself a push. There are people here and other places that like to assume their opinion of me isn't wasted breath. Their opinions are negative and unconstructive. Let me tell you ~ you can't be a ball of fire and never burn. The very things that someone will condemn me for are a biproduct of the spirit that keeps my head WAAAAAAY above water. What I'm trying to tell you is: The more hardcore you become, the more people will hate you, which will make you more hardcore ~ and essentially make more people hate you. The alternative is to let people crush the hardcore out of you. Never let that happen. When people swing a bat at you come back with a tank. You get to a point eventually where even your haters have to respect you. It's a long road. It's not for everybody. Personally, I would rather travel the long and hard road where I have to face and deal with everything no matter how shitty and terrible than travel the prescribed successful road that only prepares you to maintain as long as nothing dramatically changes. How many CEO's have killed themself when the shit hit the fan or chance swept everything out from under them? How many families have been destroyed over life throwing some huge curve ball? These are all people that learned to maintain or succeed as long as nothing dramatically changes. Give me whatever you got. One fucking way or another I will turn that shit around. And that's why I am a royal son of a bitch, as far I am concerned, you have to be in order to DEFINITELY survive.

                      Harness the powers of "Royal Son Of A Bitch". Flip on the switch of relentless determination. Run through your blockers like The Incredible Hulk. Use any and all successes as a source of power that adds to your unstoppableness. Look at every single hurdle as a battle and you are the Ultimate Warrior. Remove negative statements from your self expressions, even where the negatives ultimately denote a positive. In other words it's not ... "I won't fail" ~ it is... "I will succeed". Remove half-assed expressions too. In other words it's not... "I need to do better" ~ it is ..."I will do better", "I can do better", "I am better so, even better is just the next step."

                      Even if you disagree with taking this as far as I take it I can promise you that adding even some of this mentality to your "self" will make you more proactive than you are now.

                      This inside you. No matter what the fuck you face. Maintain it or lose it.
                      Last edited by MadGypsy; 01-16-2018, 06:24 AM.
                      http://www.nextgenquake.com

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