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My Life as a Quake Guy

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  • My Life as a Quake Guy

    Language warning and all that jazz. Enjoy.


    I've got 20 shells left in my shotgun, an old rusty axe, my other guns are jammed and useless. A fiend tore an gash in my arm earlier, glad I was able to put the fucker down. I'm bleeding like hell. But that's not the problem.

    There's a shammy heading my way. He smells the blood, hell he probably even sees the damn trail I left. I can hear his heavy footsteps coming closer. He doesn't see me yet, but he knows I'm here. And I've got nowhere left to run.

    20 shells and my axe. I'm fucked.

    I light a cig, inhale one last, deep breath of cancer. He'll smell the smoke, but at this point I don't give a fuck. I'm dead anyway, might as well enjoy my last few moments. I spit the cig out and look past the corner. He's so close I can smell 'em, the stench of rancid old bodies he's been chewing on. Just looking at the caked-on blood that stained his chest made me want to puke. Disgusting fuck, it's a shame I'm gonna be his next victim.

    Take a deep breath...and move! He sees me, roars, swipes at me. I back off just in time, nearly losing my footing as well as my head. The shammy makes careless swings at me with those big fuckin' claws. Clumsy, but one wrong move and I'm a meat sack.

    I slide past him. He barely scratches me with one wild swing. I see the slipgate up ahead. Why am I stopping to catch my breath, the fuckin' shammy is right behind me.

    Run run run run fuckin' run!!

    Argh...he...f-fuck...get in, get the fuck in!

    I dive into the slipgate, and vanish. I am one lucky fuck.

    Stop, rest, the monsters on this new building haven't been alerted yet.

    Fuckin' shammy, his lightning attack hit me on the way out. Hurts like a bitch.

    Keep moving, keep killing these assholes. How'd I wind up with this damn job anyway? Recon mission my ass!

    20 shells, an old rusty axe, an open wound...

    Better just be some grunts ahead.

  • #2
    u need to find a health pack and get the silver key !
    SURGEON GENERAL WARNING:
    THE IMITATION OF ANY OR ALL MANEUVERS EXECUTED BY A BB2 H23A1 4WS PRELUDE IS HAZARDOUS TO YOUR CAR'S HEALTH. DRIVING A PRELUDE MAY CAUSE LOSS OF INTEREST IN OTHER CARS, WOMEN AND SPEED LIMITS. OTHER SYMPTOMS INCLUDE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS, COLD SWEATS AND OTHER SYMPTOMS RELATED TO ADDICTION. IF THE SYMPTOMS PERSIST,DRIVE!
    sigpic

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    • #3
      No wonder I couldn't get that damn door to open! I kept trying to jam the gold key into the keyhole!

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      • #4
        Gold is a soft metal... the key's probably all bashed up and useless now.
        e|------------------------0---------------
        B|---------------0^1----------------1----
        G|---------------2------2------0^2-------
        D|---------------2-------2--2-------------
        A|---------------0------------------------
        E|----------------------------------------

        Comment


        • #5
          Haha he'll never get out of the level then. Probably spend the rest of his life eating scrag meat and rottweiler giblets.

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          • #6
            Word of mouth is that you are being lured, a simple puppet within a greater cause. Beware the beast man... for he is the devils pawn.
            Some play to remember...
            Some play to forget.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by QuadRaptor View Post
              Haha he'll never get out of the level then. Probably spend the rest of his life eating scrag meat and rottweiler giblets.
              Who knows, maybe Ray will open up one of those interdimentional portals, cross the thread barrier and help your guy out... hehe
              e|------------------------0---------------
              B|---------------0^1----------------1----
              G|---------------2------2------0^2-------
              D|---------------2-------2--2-------------
              A|---------------0------------------------
              E|----------------------------------------

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              • #8
                Ray is looking for a replacement...hes getting too old for this crap

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