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Jokes HAR HAR!

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  • Jokes HAR HAR!

    Milking It
    A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
    The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.

    "Breast fed," the woman replied.

    "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.

    Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk."

    "I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."

    Little Nancy
    Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
    "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

    The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

    Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

    "I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."

    Glad to be Drunk
    A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

    Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

    "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

    Breathing a sigh of relief, the drunk said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
    Last edited by Mindf!3ldzX; 03-13-2008, 06:24 PM.
    Want to get into playing Quake again? Click here for the Multiplayer-Startup kit! laissez bon temps rouler!

  • #2
    I was driving down this road one night and I got stopped by a police officer and our conversation is as followed

    Officer: Have you been drinking tonight?
    Me: Why are there two fat ugly girls in my back seat?
    Officer: Yes.
    Me: I guess I have.
    This body holding me,reminds me of my own mortality.
    Embrace this moment, remember, we are eternal,all this pain is an illusion.