You find yourself in E1M1

[Shadowswift]

>Take the far left duct. Every time the duct splits, dip the tip of your finger in the purple stuff and draw an arrow on the wall in the direction you take

>be very specific about the turns the duct makes and a decent account of distance traveled within each straight portion

Hey, you actually have an app for that on your console. You can actually leave invisible digital footprints on your RADAR so you can see what path you've traveled. Rather than wasting the purple stuff (which you'd still rather not touch for possible health reasons), you activate the console's marker trail. You take the shaft on the far left which, after about 15 feet, splits off into 4 directions. Left, right, and far right are all smaller shafts, which probably mean they lead to vents. It'll be a very tight squeeze, but you think you can just barely fit through them. The shaft straight ahead leads off quite a ways further. Direction?

>

[foq]

>alright... find a way to create V-Jolt, somehow, someway. Add this to your side quests... you really really need V-Jolt.

Go straight ahead.

[Shadowswift]

>alright... find a way to create V-Jolt, somehow, someway. Add this to your side quests... you really really need V-Jolt.

Go straight ahead.

Yeah ok...

Side mission accepted: Jolted.

You continue straight. You find yourself at an impasse. The shaft splits off two ways, one up, and one down. The way up won't be easy, but you can manage with your hook. It should lead you to one of the upper stories. The way down is easier, but will land you into unknown territory. Your RADAR shows negative for at least the immediate surrounding area, and the map shows that the room below is rather small.


>

[MadGypsy]

>down..check it out, then back up

[Shadowswift]

[[Eh....tomorrow. I'm too tired. G'night]]

[Shadowswift]

>down..check it out, then back up

You shimmy down the ventilation shaft, latch your hook to the side, slowly open the vent, and peek around. All clear. Looks like a conference room. You slide down slowly, making sure not to make any noise. The moment your feet touch floor, you hear a rustle. Your spidey-senses go apeshit. Your RADAR pings. Directly behind you materializes a single being. You spin around, scythe first. A lone Shadow stands before you.

"Hello, Captain."
You recognize the voice. It's cold and hollow, but you've definitely heard it before. "Don't recognize me? It's me." The Shadow pulls his hood back and removes his helmet. A blank face lacking any detail or emotion looks upon you.
"You must be one of the men I butchered. Look, I can understand you wanting revenge on me for what I did, and rightly so you should have it...but I cannot allow you to take it. If I do, then billions more will end up just like you." The Shadow chuckles hollowly.
"I do want revenge, dear friend...and I shall have it. For all the men, good men...strong, brave warriors all...that Protos forced you to cull." Your ears perk.
"You...want revenge on Protos." The Shadow nods.
"That bastard is the reason we're all like this. He's the reason we're all puppets of The Master now...shells, mere Shadows of what we once were." You lower your scythe and approach the Shadow.
"Who were you?" The Shadow looks down.
"I was Lieutenant Conrad Donovan. I wish I could say that I still am...but I'm not. Now, I'm Underlord Candor Novando, a new name and rank for my new self, given by The Master himself."
"Donovan...dear Donovan...I didn't want to see you this way." The Shadow scoffs.
"And how did you want to see me, Captain? A mindless killing machine whose only words come from the barrel of a Shadowpulse Rifle so that you can have a clean conscience about annihilating me AGAIN?? Is that how you wanted this??"
"Honestly, that would have been a little less painful, but...wait a minute." You ponder the situation. "You know...you're the first Shadow that's actually come up to me and just...talked. You're the first one, the only one, that's approached me in a civil manner." The Shadow backs away a bit. "What's going on here, Donovan? Is there something you aren't telling me?" The Shadow looks up at you, face lacking any definition.
"I...don't know how to explain it. Something in me didn't die when your scythe struck me down. Some part of my heart, my will, remained even after my mind and body were destroyed by your plasma. I still hear the words of The Master in my head, but for some reason, I am not compelled to obey."
"A puppet with agency...then why do you stick around here?" The Shadow laughs.
"Where the hell would I go, Captain? Who would take a renegade Shadow?"
"I already have a rogue Fiend, a traitorous Strogg and a defective Knight..."
"Join you? The very one who struck me down? You must be joking. By all rights, I should be trying to kill you right now, and you me."
"Funny thing, agency is. I didn't really appreciate what it meant to me until I lost it to Protos and his Shadow Crystals." You stow your scythe. "By all rights, dear friend..." You extend your hand and pray for a miracle. "...you should be doing whatever you feel is right." The Shadow looks upon your extended arm. Hesitantly, he reaches for it...then stops and retracts.
"I'm sorry, Captain. I can't. I can't join you." You lower your arm and ready your nerves for battle. "However...I can't fight you, either. I'm pretty sure I'm no match for you, anyway." He backs away.
"Wait...where will you go?"
"...I hadn't even thought about it before you showed up. I don't know where I'll go...but I'm sure I'll do the right thing in the end." He dematerializes and vanishes from sight.
"Damn it..." You resume your mission. The conference room before you holds some chairs, tables, a projector, a large retractable screen, a laptop, some pencils, pens, and paper, and a small lockbox. It's made of sturdy cobalt steel...you can't break the lock. There's nothing else in the room. You notice, however, on the wall to your left, some Encroaching Darkness has begun festering since you arrived in this room. That could mean that the Shadows are still in the process of remaking this place. Perhaps they haven't altered the Slipgate here yet. If you can find it before they mess with it, perhaps you can use it to organize an offensive to take this place back for the Corps. If it was possible for the Shadows to get a drop on this place by using teleportation, then perhaps the Marines can do the same thing. You make note of that.


>

[foq]

>check out the laptop and the lockbox, take the lockbox with you if you can

>use a pencil to draw dicks on some of the paper

[Shadowswift]

>check out the laptop and the lockbox, take the lockbox with you if you can

The laptop is pretty primitive. You turn it on and plug your console in to it. Let's see, how does this go again? Been a long time since you've used console commands.

>link
trying...
Connection accepted. Negotiating with host...
Host is locked.

Crap. Hm...what was it Phoenix told you about the new hacking function...you scratch your chin and call him.

"Type in force interface underscore open and the console should do the rest." Alright, then.
>force interface_open
Initiating forced entry. Negotiating with host. Stand by...
...
.....
.......
Entry accepted.
>
Cool. You turn to the laptop and explore the screen. Shit, there's like a minute's worth of battery left and no charging cables anywhere to be seen. Better make this quick. You find a folder titled "Davis" on it. Maybe this is Major Davis's laptop. Cool. You attempt to open the folder, but the laptop craps out. Dead. You should be able to charge this thing from the mainframe back at E1M1 so that you can explore it further and maybe find out some of the secrets Davis is keeping from you.

The lockbox is a little heavy, but portable. You open a quick portal to the Bailey and ask Phoenix to hold the laptop and the lockbox for you. Your inventory is getting a little too full for those two things.

Phoenix got Davis's Laptop.
Phoenix got a Cobalt Lockbox

You return to the room as the portal closes behind you.

>use a pencil to draw dicks on some of the paper

You take a pencil and several sheets of paper and draw some phalli on them. You then place one on each of the chairs in the room so that anyone that comes to sit in this room will then be sitting on a dick. HA!


>

[foq]

>So what did we come here for again? Oh yeah... continue your search for Darkscythe and this book.

[MadGypsy]

force interface_open

lol, that's some hella good security

When you get back around to dicking with the laptop type
cd c:/Quake/
dir
look for a quake engine and then type
NameOfEngine.exe +map e1m1

and see if you can find yourself. If you do, the story will be over, right? You will have satisfied the title "You find yourself in E1M1"...hah. Imagine if you went through all this trouble and adventure just to do that. I think it's perfect.

[Shadowswift]

>So what did we come here for again? Oh yeah... continue your search for Darkscythe and this book.

...then back up

You look around, satisfied with the room's situation. You grapple back up to the vent and climb your way up to the second floor. The shaft continues to climb upward another four floors or so, however there is another shaft in front of you. Shall you proceed upward, or check out this one, too?

>

ol, that's some hella good security

[[Yeah, it's decent security, but the Ranger's Console is hella better. With the upgrade found back at E4M1, the console can hack into most any device through most any security measures with the use of simplistic commands. Technology!!]]

When you get back around to dicking with the laptop type
cd c:/Quake/
dir
look for a quake engine and then type
NameOfEngine.exe +map e1m1

and see if you can find yourself. If you do, the story will be over, right? You will have satisfied the title "You find yourself in E1M1"...hah. Imagine if you went through all this trouble and adventure just to do that. I think it's perfect.

[[If we did this, however, we'd create a paradox void into which every connected dimension and surrounding universe would get sucked violently. C'thon would then reign over the new existing realm of pure paradox and chaos where right is wrong, up is down, light is dark, life is death, cats are dogs, and pie is lethal to consume. Just thinking about it makes me quiver...]]

[MadGypsy]

If we did this, however, we'd create a paradox void into which every connected dimension and surrounding universe would get sucked violently. C'thon would then reign over the new existing realm of pure paradox and chaos where right is wrong, up is down, light is dark, life is death, cats are dogs, and pie is lethal to consume. Just thinking about it makes me quiver...

>find a TARDIS

>proceed upward - the second shaft is always some waste of time they throw in these things to make you feel like you explored something. relieve your bowels/bladder in the second shaft. If we find a room later with the smell of feces we will have an idea of where we are in relation to the shafts.

[Shadowswift]

>find a TARDIS

In a realm of interdimensional teleportation and ethereal travel, you are stunned to know that time travel has not been made possible.


...yet.

>proceed upward - the second shaft is always some waste of time they throw in these things to make you feel like you explored something. relieve your bowels/bladder in the second shaft. If we find a room later with the smell of feces we will have an idea of where we are in relation to the shafts.

You creep over to the shaft in front, drop your drawers and plant your ass firmly over the duct. You release your bowels. Ah.....oh yeah, that's the stuff. Man, this has been building up for a while...hoo...hmmmhmmhmmhmhm...still going.......doodoodododododooo...a few minutes later and there's still a brown waterfall flowing beneath you. Sheesh, when was the last time you did this?? Is it over yet??? Ten minutes later, and you're crapping out stuff you ate in high school. Good lord, when will it end?!? The floodgates have been opened, and they will not close!! Twenty minutes, and you're pretty sure the crap has piled high enough to reach the vent. Finally, a poot and a toot later, the flow ceases. Ahhh......you feel about a ton lighter.

Your movement speed and agility have increased by 100%

You peer down into the shaft...oh dear God...well, if you weren't going down there before, you sure as hell aren't now. You proceed upward to the third floor. You vaguely recall this being the barracks floor. Might be some cool stuff on this floor. There are two main shafts, one ahead and one behind. Of course, there's also the shaft that leads up to the fourth and final floor. Your call.


>

[MadGypsy]

>take the shaft that leads towards the shadows that we are trying to sneak past

>invent time travel

[Adam]

>unseen, you encounter a Vore and Shambler who appear to be in a break room, sitting eating lunch, having a cuppa, comparing lunchboxes and talking about Friday night.

>They spot you and offer a cigarette, "There's a ceasefire till Monday. Wanna play some cards?"