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    I have been thinking a lot lately about many of things. One thing in particular, is how I spend my time and what I actually get accomplished with it. I'm not satisfied with the speed or amount of my accomplishments. I recently quit my clan due to this. Here it is 3 weeks later and I haven't looked back. Unfortunately, it turned into one of those situations where you "quit drinking to start smoking".

    I left my clan, just to end up here twice as much. That is essentially - "no change at all". I have come to realize that I am not a responsible individual. Responsible people balance their time between their responsibilities, goals and useless recreation. I have the responsibilities part aced and fail miserably at the goals part. This has to change, now.

    I am wasting my life on a forum that revolves around a game that I don't give a fuck about. I'm never going to be an accomplished video game developer. I am a web/flash programmer. I have major skills and for some reason I can't focus on them, but it is not really "some reason". This site is the reason.

    I have friends here and I love to help them with their art. I also love to share my art. Regrettably, all I am really doing is wasting my time and pushing the completion of my own goals further and further back. This has to change, now.

    ---

    I'm not trying to have some crybaby goodbye thread. I am not "disappointed" or "fed-up" with anything or anyone, but myself. I currently suck so bad that I can't even guarantee that I won't be right back here tomorrow, curious as to what's going on. This is a problem. I have to at least attempt to rectify that problem.

    All that being said, I'm gonna go away for a while. I have friends here that deserve better than for me to just flake out and leave without explanation and that's really the only reason I am posting this, at all.

    In contrast, how do I leave my friends period? "Nice knowing you, see you around"..that's bullshit. That's not me. So, I will give all of you my phone number and you are more than welcome to call me and keep in touch (if we are friends). Even this has it's neglected elements though, cause sometimes I just decided that IDGAF about a phone and decide not to pay the bill until I feel like calling someone (lol). All I can say about that is, try back later on in the month or year or something.

    Anyway, I have shit I want to accomplish and it's time that I focus ALL of my time and effort on it. Wish me luck and strength to stay focused.

    Michael
    504 247 2256

    PS> Imma pay my bill tomorrow before I leave for work.

    PPS> If you aren't in my friendslist here, please do not bother me. Be grown up and realize that just because you now know my number, it doesn't mean you should call it. I would respect your number, respect mine.

    peace.
    http://www.nextgenquake.com

  • #2
    WTF

    I join here, start getting into this ole damn game again and.... BAM! EVERYFUGGIN'body has an epiphany that they shouldn't be on this site, grrrrrrrrr..... Serious bear here is NOT amused.

    I understand though, it's an addiction and should be remedied as such, still not happy.

    Good luck with your projects and life 'Gypsy,
    - damage_
    Name's damage_inc, and killing is my business. Don't worry though, it's nothing personal! Oh wait... maybe it is

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    • #3
      Ya damage_inc just pointed out the thing... addiction!

      But MadGiver... You better be addictive to quakeone.com to many other "bad" things so why not accept it and live "happy" with this fact

      AN ADDICTED Q1 FOKER

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      • #4
        I'm not leaving here forever. I just want to get shit straight with my own personal goals. Being here right this second doesn't count cause I'm about to get ready for work. I have no time to build a mega-multi-media-site right this minute (lol). ie -I'm not neglecting anything. If I could keep QuakeOne a 10 minute thing in the morning over some coffee, I'm doing great. However, 10 minutes doesn't give me a whole lot of time to be a heavy participator here, so everything I said above is the new reality.

        @ mom - addiction - like the 10+ year alcohol addiction that I have beat for almost as long. Except I have only been here for 2.

        @ damage - be happy for me bro. I'm trying to make positive changes in my life.

        @ phenom - this doesn't mean I wont do your QC. It means I will do it even sooner and without the regret that I am ignoring my own personal goals. I already know what would have happened. I would have procrastinated through my own stuff, which would have led me to feel like I have made you wait too long, resulting in me procrastinating in my own goals even more so I can help you.

        My addiction here isn't Quake. My addiction is sharing all the Quake knowledge I have. I could write a book on this shit...and tend to. That's not getting me anywhere.

        10 minutes up

        *the 11th minute: I made good on all my mod promises (killpixel and bluntz) BEFORE I made this announcement. I have abandoned and/or neglected no one.
        Last edited by MadGypsy; 02-16-2013, 04:21 AM.
        http://www.nextgenquake.com

        Comment


        • #5
          Why think in absolutes; you can check a forum once in a while and it doesn't mean you are useless. As long as it doesn't become an obsession.

          Nobody is perfect. ;-)
          Scout's Journey
          Rune of Earth Magic

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          • #6
            haha, you bailing for a while brah? thats fine. sort your shit out, but remember to report back for duty sometime!
            My Avatars!
            Quake Leagues
            Quake 1.5!!!
            Definitive HD Quake

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            • #7
              Originally posted by syluxman2803 View Post
              haha, you bailing for a while brah? thats fine. sort your shit out, but remember to report back for duty sometime!
              That's a great way to put it... Sort your things out... It's kinda like you're on vacation, MadGypsy. (A really long vacation.) But every once in a while, come back to the bar and have a few drinks.
              "Through my contact lenses, I have seen them all, I've seen wicked clowns and broken dreams / Crazy men in jumpsuits trying to be extreme and messing around with your computer screen" - Creative Rhyme (03/23/2012)

              Comment


              • #8
                I haven't been hear long but ive read tons of your post (most are over my head) your such a source of knowledge let me know when that book is done it will be a must have! you only live life once and life is short go get what you want out of it

                Comment


                • #9
                  @golden_boy - cause I absolutely need to get my stuff moving

                  @JDSTONER - thank you! Also, that says tend to , not INTEND to.

                  2:40 seconds and I'm out (pats self on back)
                  http://www.nextgenquake.com

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Nah man for sure, do what you gotsa do... and be happy in the "change"

                    I was just being a bit selfish in my previous post.
                    Name's damage_inc, and killing is my business. Don't worry though, it's nothing personal! Oh wait... maybe it is

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Well I have enjoyed all you have done for us and it has made me a much better modeler.You will be sorely missed.I more than most understand that life comes first and this place is my favorite drug.You get your goals sorted out and get back here when you need a break from the grind.
                      I always admired your style of hunting flies with a shot gun
                      GG
                      Last edited by bluntz; 02-16-2013, 06:47 PM.
                      WARNING
                      May be too intense for some viewers.
                      Stress Relief Device
                      ....BANG HEAD HERE....
                      ---------------------------
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                      .--------------------------

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I got like 3 straight hours of programming in (no distractions), that's unheard of for me on a work day. After tomorrow I am off for 4 days. If I can put in 56 (4 * 14) hours in on those days off, I'll be jammin, man. This is the only point. I don't want to stop participating here.

                        Right now, this minute, I can post with a good heart cause I put in good work and I'm going to sleep in like 30 minutes. I earned a lil break before sleep. My dillemma really revolves around keeping my mouth shut. Here's an example:

                        I read splitters thread and how she needs to find a programmer to script her latest models. I had to physically stop myself from typing "I can do that for you." I don't know the first thing about second life scripting...so? I bet 1 gabillion dollars that I don't even have, that I could script every last one of her models and if someone with 1 gabillion dollars wants to take that bet, I'll drop everything right now and do it. I'll even quit my job...cause I wont need it anymore.

                        Anyway, that's the whole problem. I see "needs" and I immediately want to rectify them, and that supercedes my "needs". Right now, I'm learning how to keep my fukin mouth shut. The easiest way to do this, is to simply not really be here. On a side note. I banged out over 1400 lines of code in that 3 hours I spent on my project. I fly in PHP and Javascript.
                        http://www.nextgenquake.com

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Yeah, staying focused on your own project can be a challenge.
                          Scout's Journey
                          Rune of Earth Magic

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                          • #14
                            no doubt, now I need to stay focused on going to sleep. I'm also addicted to reading, which is good, but right now it is bad, unless I want to be mega tired throughout an entire work day.

                            Y'all don't know me in my real life, so you will just have to take my word for it that I am an aggressive laborer. Being tired doesn't stop or slow that down, but it makes it suck. There is actually this joke about me at work that isn't even a word - "grrrrr" <- that's the joke, cause I am always grunting and ferociously doing whatever needs to be done. I make young "men" 10+ years my junior look like little whiny incompetent bitches. It's not as much fun when I'm sleepy and fatigued.
                            http://www.nextgenquake.com

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