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Joao, I'd love to see YOU write a quake story 
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Your story has pretty much become "and then-, and then-", etc. You may want to work on having centralized plots to begin with instead of working them out as you go along.Originally posted by gamefreak View Post"It's called being awesome, maybe you should try it." -Bank
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sorry bank, that's just how i write; making it up as i go...I'm back, and betterComment
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See, that's an excuse. Nothing against you or your writing, but a good writer improves himself, he doesn't try to find a reason not to.
And it's Bank."It's called being awesome, maybe you should try it." -Bank
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You write very well for 13, I'd keep doing it (if you like it). I post technical stuff all the time that is read by few people and it doesn't bother me at all whether or not it gets read frequently.Originally posted by gamefreak View Post
Bank is making a good point here. You should take a look at some other writing styles (you could easily use http://books.google.com/ to search for random quotes to get some sample pages) and then figure out a way to avoid repetition.Originally posted by gamefreak View PostQuakeone.com - Being exactly one-half good and one-half evil has advantages. When a portal opens to the antimatter universe, my opposite is just me with a goatee.
So while you guys all have to fight your anti-matter counterparts, me and my evil twin will be drinking a beer laughing at you guys ...Comment
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I don't know if you're serious about writing or not but as Baker said, Bank is right on. Your writing style is very "un-reader friendly" ... you need to vary your sentence structure more and vary the way you present events. If you really are serious about writing, you should really pick up some classic books and give them a read. See how the masters work and then go from there with your own. If you're not serious about writing and are just doing it for the heck of it, well nevermind then.
Edgar > Locke.
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i lost count of how many times i've said," i write these stories for fun."I'm back, and betterComment
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You dont understand the premise. It doesnt matter WHY you write a story, if it's not written well, you're not only shortchanging all of your readers, but you're shortchanging yourself!"It's called being awesome, maybe you should try it." -Bank
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