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  • grrr bah 2

    I have seriously been awake for something like a week with little more than a 3 hour cat nap here and there. To make things worse I have an abscess tooth (or something I really don't know) that has the entire left side of my face blown up. It actually doesn't really hurt but I look like a fucking alien. I am 100% exhausted and I have to be to work in 4 hours. I have completely given up on sleep. At this point, if my body actually did shut down, I would probably sleep til Sunday... and lose my job. All these little bullshit things that I have to keep dealing with are starting to seriously put me in a foul mood.

    Dumping stupid girlfriend that I love but absolutely can't stand, being hired and screwed at a job before I even start, blasting overtime for a last minute suitable replacement job, unable to ever sleep and now I look like a fuckin balloon head...not to exclude that I have a headache and chest pains because well, I haven't really slept in a fucking week.

    MESSAGE TO THE UNIVERSE:

    I DO NOT CARE WHAT BULLSHIT YOU THROW MY WAY YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT ME! SEND SOME MORE SHIT IF YOU THINK YOU'RE BAD! YOU WILL SERIOUSLY HAVE TO KILL ME TO EVER WIN THIS GAME! I RE-FUCKING-FUSE TO FALL! I WILL RIP MY FACE, HEAD AND CHEST OFF AND SHOW UP AN HOUR EARLY FOR WORK! FUCK...YOU!
    Last edited by MadGypsy; 05-13-2016, 01:40 AM.
    http://www.nextgenquake.com

  • #2
    @MoM AKA 303 AKA QMark
    Keep this image out of your image pizzas unless you want to seriously piss me off. I don't need my blowed up face in a collage. Respect that.



    believe it or not this doesn't hurt unless I touch it in a specific spot. If it doesn't go down by tomorrow I'm going to lance or slice it wide open at the gum and scooch all that bullshit out of my face. That's all a doctor is going to do. Except I might get a stitch I don't need, antibiotics that wont work and a pain pill I won't take, all accompanying a bill I don't need.
    Last edited by MadGypsy; 05-13-2016, 02:42 AM.
    http://www.nextgenquake.com

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    • #3
      Ouch! That's looks unpleasant. Hope you feel better soon.
      Mr.Burns
      "Helping to keep this community friendly, helpful, and clean of spammers since 2006"
      WWW: Quake Terminus , QuakeVoid You Tube: QuakeVoid
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      • #4
        A bad tooth will put toxins in your blood and weaken your immune system.
        At this point you need to get some anti-antibiotics, then when the selling goes down
        see a dentist/doc.

        As for the sleeping thing, i would opt for a bottle of whiskey.
        Works like a charm every time. Hope you feel better soon bud.

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        • #5
          @davers & mr burns ~

          Thank you both for the well wishes.

          @whiskey - never

          @bad tooth ~

          It wasn't a bad tooth. When I said abscess it was a presumption. The actual problem was an ulcer. I stretched out my cheek and checked out where my gums meets my cheek. There was a big nasty ulcer. I took a clean utility knife blade, slit it open and squashed all the juice out. My face isn't back to normal but, it is a hell of a lot less puffy. I treated the spot with some Dr Tichenor and called it a day. To have an ulcer after all the shit I've been dealing with isn't all that unlikely...it's highly likely.

          Not being able to sleep is multi-fold. On one hand, I'm not on a "go to work at 6:30" schedule and I switched to a bi-modal sleep rhythm quite a few months ago. So, my body sleeps a few hours, I get up for a few, sleep another few and then I'm up for 12. The problem is, I've been skipping the second sleep in order to force my body to be tired at a time that makes sense for a 6:30am work schedule. My body doesn't want to co-operate. I finally do get exhausted at a time where I have very few hours before work and then the problem becomes restlessness out of fear of over-sleeping. In short, all my schedules are conflicting. I'm already gonna solve that today.

          I walked into work today, went straight up to my boss and said

          "I'm taking tomorrow off."

          he said: "You need some time to get your face taken care of?"

          me: "Nope, I need some time to remove the stress of entirely conflicting schedules creating a restlessness that robs me of sleep due to fear of oversleeping. I don't have to work tomorrow, my body loses that stress, I sleep like a baby while also moving my rhythm closer to the appropriate time. We open an hour late on Sunday, worst case scenario I lose 2 hours of sleep that day, which is a complete nothing to me, and then I have the next 3 days to start working my sleep hours back, stress free. I come back thursday like a beast with my body on time."

          him: "uhhhhhh, OK. That is the most intense reason anyone has ever given me for taking a day off."

          me: "You have no idea... but you do have my reason, and I'm taking tomorrow off. You do not want me in here tomorrow with as tired and sloppy as I am going to be. I am on my absolute last ounce of strength and today has just begun."

          him: "Sure man, you can have the day off."

          me: "yep"

          So, anyway, my face is way better and sleep will be solved tonight. I burned myself a couple of times today but, I really don't give a fuck. Imma slice mcsqooch that shit too. Like I told the universe earlier today...you will seriously have to kill me to ever win this game...and I meant that. I'm dealing with all this shit and fighting these battles completely exhausted...like even as I write this I am completely fucking delirious and I have at least another 4 hours before I should let myself sleep. Imma make that too. Give me 2 days and the universe is gonna have to do way better than a bubble face, exhaustion and a couple of burns to even get my attention.
          http://www.nextgenquake.com

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          • #6
            11 straight hours of sleep... face is still where I got it to yesterday. Ironic, that I take today off and technically this is the exact time I want to start waking up. I'm gonna call the boss in 2 hours and see if I can go to work, lol. If not, I'm gonna work on my engine all day. Now the only concern is if I can shut down @ 8pm tonight and sleep til 4am straight. If I do, problem solved, schedule fixed.

            I have to admit, after 11 straight hours of sleep I'm awake, but I feel... discombobulated might be a good word. Some part of me kind of wants to go back to sleep. That would be the single most stupid thing I could possibly do. Anyway, time to think of a way to remove every drop of the remaining swelling from my face. It's barely more than trivial but, I want to win across the board.
            http://www.nextgenquake.com

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            • #7
              @regarding: remove every drop of the remaining swelling from my face...

              1. Garlic

              Garlic is nature’s most potent antibiotic. It prevents bacterial infection and contains sulfuric compounds including allicin which fight infection and inflammation.

              Process:

              Apply the juice from crushed garlic to the infected area.
              Repeat regularly as needed.
              Alternately chew garlic fresh cloves or rinse your mouth with garlic juice and water.
              11 More Baking Soda Medicinal Uses

              You'll be amazed at the myriad of remedies you can whip up if you have a box of baking soda handy. Among them:

              Ulcer Pain: I have personally recommended this to many including family members and have been surprised how remarkably effective it is. This would make sense, as the baking soda would immediately neutralize stomach acid. Dosing is typically 1-2 teaspoons in a full glass of water.
              --

              Let's see what doing this every 4 hours til I go to sleep will do by the time I wake up tomorrow. If there is one thing I am never out of, it's fresh garlic. I'm going to use a coffee grinder to pulverize some garlic, mix in some baking soda to create a paste and pack it straight into the slit I made. This is either going to work, irritate the fuck out of it or do nothing. I should be able to determine PDQ if I'm just irritating it. If it irritates it, I'll try it without the baking soda. It's not like I'm trying to cure AIDS or cancer. This will either work or it won't. Either way I'll live.

              Oh, cold brewed coffee... cold brewed coffee creates natural food grade hydrogen peroxide on a very small level. Maybe if I made a very strong batch I could amplify the amount of h202. I'm not sure how to best apply it though. Maybe simply use it as a mouthwash before applying the paste to the affected area. Alternately, maybe I could just add some raw coffee grinds to the paste and essentially brew the coffee in my face. You may wonder why I don't just use regular h202. Simple, that's not as much fun. I have some bullshit problem to solve. I'll use myself as a guinea pig for alternate solutions. If it works FTW. If not, I'll just leave it alone. It's not like it's never going to heal.

              At this point you can estimate that my face is 90% or better than it was in the pic I posted. You're gonna have to take my word for it cause I absolutely hate posting pics of myself (hence my unibomber look in the last pic). Honestly my face is so close to how it's supposed to be I would have to take a full on frontal face pic for you to even be able to tell something is wrong. That ain't gonna happen...BUT if this crazy test does work, I'll suck up my camera shyness just to prove it worked. I mostly hate pics cause I aged like 5 years in about 1 year. I've lived most of my life looking a decade younger than I am... I magically caught up and I hate it. Oddly though it's only in my face. YOu'd never guess in a million years that I'm 41 from the neck down, more like 25. I'm a butter face or I guess a buttis face. LOL! Ya'll know what that is?... "Everything looks good butt(h)er face.." ...LOL!
              Last edited by MadGypsy; 05-14-2016, 05:14 AM.
              http://www.nextgenquake.com

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              • #8
                Garlic works like a charm. I didn't bother with all the other mess. Every few hours I just chew a toe of garlic til it has completely disappeared. There is one little quarter sized dot of puffiness left. It's so subtle that even I have to turn my head just right to see it. I'll prove it later. I'm spring cleaning right now. Actually it was cleaning the mirrors that made me realize it.
                http://www.nextgenquake.com

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                • #9
                  in barely more than 48 hours from my OP

                  1) Face fixed (not posting a selfie cause I'm old and ugly, my avatar is 15ish years old)
                  2) Sleep fixed
                  ....2a) no headaches
                  ....2b) no chest pains
                  3) Completely accept that my girl should have never been my girl - dead to me

                  BONUS:

                  1) elite level clean house - removed everything, cleaned everything, put it all back. behind my toilet is probably cleaner than most peoples "clean" dishes.
                  2) wrote custom .obj parser and solved secondary UV technicality
                  3) so far, cut smoking exactly in half (only one day so far but today is starting right). I'll cut it in half again in 2 more days and completely quit in 6.
                  4) 3 days without a drop of coffee and I don't feel like complete shit
                  5) worked out yesterday and this morning. Gonna start doing that every day @ 4am when I wake up. I'm already in great shape but, I want my body to match my determination.

                  TO DO:

                  1) anything I put my mind to

                  edit: Actually, fuck it, I would rather be old and ugly and prove that I'm not full of shit than have people thinking I'm full of shit. There is no swelling at all. That's just my normal fucked up face. 100 years without sleep...

                  Last edited by MadGypsy; 05-15-2016, 05:42 AM.
                  http://www.nextgenquake.com

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                  • #10
                    God, you're ugly...

                    (please don't let them find a photo of me, please don't let them find a photo of me :')

                    Seriously though, glad to hear you're finally OK.

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                    • #11
                      I know I'm being a little silly. I just miss me face. I'm all haggard and drawn these days. I'm still coming to grips with that. Thank you for being glad I'm well. I only post this stuff so other people going through hardships can see there is more than one answer and being determined plus action equals very fast results. I mean, I healed my face in 48 hours with a razor and garlic. What is that like a dollar?
                      http://www.nextgenquake.com

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                      • #12
                        I've been trying something and I would like to share It with y'all cause, it's actually working. I read an article once where this guy supposedly cured his cancer by focusing on his cancer and imagining it getting smaller. I have no idea if that story is true but, I do know that it is free and easy to attempt and apply to other things.

                        Today, most of the times that I wanted a cigarette I imagined that desire dieing. I mean this quite literally. I gave my desire a face and when it attempts to possess me, I imagine it in great pain and dieing. The harder it strikes the more pain and demise it encounters. It's working. I haven't smoked a cigarette in like 8 or so hours and I also don't want one. I fully understand cigarettes are a chemical addiction and it "doesn't work this way" regarding what I am telling you. All I can say is it's working, whether it makes sense or not. I'm going to can my 6 day plan and attempt to simply consider myself 8ish hours into quitting period.

                        Let's see if this is a working solution or a false start with a stark reality on the horizon. Worst case scenario, this simply does not work long term and I go back to my plan or some other "recommended" method. If it does work, then I quit and that's that. Either way I have lost nothing. However, I have the added strength that I do want this to work simply so I can say I killed a chemical addiction with the power of my mind... that has to be giving me a force multiplier in this.

                        Actually, if you think about it, didn't I already do this with alcohol? The only real difference here is with alcohol I just firmly believed that liquid has no power over me. With this I recognize the power tobacco has and my attitude is more like I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU!
                        Last edited by MadGypsy; 05-15-2016, 04:40 PM.
                        http://www.nextgenquake.com

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by MadGypsy View Post
                          I've been trying something and I would like to share It with y'all cause, it's actually working. I read an article once where this guy supposedly cured his cancer by focusing on his cancer and imagining it getting smaller. I have no idea if that story is true but, I do know that it is free and easy to attempt and apply to other things.

                          Today, most of the times that I wanted a cigarette I imagined that desire dieing. I mean this quite literally. I gave my desire a face and when it attempts to possess me, I imagine it in great pain and dieing. The harder it strikes the more pain and demise it encounters. It's working. I haven't smoked a cigarette in like 8 or so hours and I also don't want one. I fully understand cigarettes are a chemical addiction and it "doesn't work this way" regarding what I am telling you. All I can say is it's working, whether it makes sense or not. I'm going to can my 6 day plan and attempt to simply consider myself 8ish hours into quitting period.

                          Let's see if this is a working solution or a false start with a stark reality on the horizon. Worst case scenario, this simply does not work long term and I go back to my plan or some other "recommended" method. If it does work, then I quit and that's that. Either way I have lost nothing. However, I have the added strength that I do want this to work simply so I can say I killed a chemical addiction with the power of my mind... that has to be giving me a force multiplier in this.

                          Actually, if you think about it, didn't I already do this with alcohol? The only real difference here is with alcohol I just firmly believed that liquid has no power over me. With this I recognize the power tobacco has and my attitude is more like I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU!
                          The human mind/brain is, I believe, a much more powerful tool than most of us realize. I smoked cigarettes for 30 years and also dipped skoal for twenty of those thirty years. I quit dipping about 15 years ago and it was actually pretty easy. Probably because I was still smoking, still getting that nicotine fix. A long time ago (many many years ago) I promised my wife I would quit... (she never nagged or ragged on me to quit) It was all my decision... so a little over 5 years ago I made my mind up that I was going to try to quit. I set a date. It was Christmas Day. I put the last empty pack I smoked in a box, wrapped it up, put a bow on it and gave it to her that Christmas morning. That was the last cigarette I ever smoked. We not actually, I smoked one about six months into my recovery when she was in Nashville for a couple of days. I drank a few beers and thought "I'm going to have a cigarette". Gave me the old head rush... tingling brain sensation. I thought it was pretty cool as it harkin'd me back to my weed smokin' days The final one was about six months after that one. Long story short, that one made me physically sick... and that one was the last one I ever smoked... up to this day! The first year was pretty tough, craving wise but now there is no more desire for them at all.

                          The moral to my story, I suppose , is, You have to want for things to change, in your own mind. And when you set your mind to something you can do literally anything you set your mind to... if any of that makes sense.

                          Glad you're feeling better...
                          *I chose the road less traveled... Now I don't know where the hell I am*
                          sigpic

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                          • #14
                            I'm with you 100%, brotha. I smoked 1 cigarette today. I didn't really want it. I'm not really sure why I smoked it. I smoke American Spirit roll-your-own in the red pack so, when I say I smoked a cigarette it's more like I took 4 or 5 drags. They are too strong to smoke an entire one. Even though it had only been like 24 hours or somethin since I had smoked I got high as hell for about 5 minutes. However, I also feel high from not smoking... totally diferent high though. I think my body is rediscovering oxygen...lol.

                            @feel better

                            thanks . I actually feel fantastic.
                            Last edited by MadGypsy; 05-17-2016, 06:28 AM.
                            http://www.nextgenquake.com

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                            • #15
                              The biggest thing I noticed when I quit was my breathing. I had the smokers cough and the gurgling/raspyness when I would take a deep breath. I couldn't take a deep breath without clearing my throat. Now I can breath deep and not have any phlegm/crap, snotty sounds coming from my lungs. It took about a year or more to notice it, but it was a very noticeable change for the better.
                              *I chose the road less traveled... Now I don't know where the hell I am*
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