grrr bah 2

[MadGypsy]

@H1CC - job update

I'm still working at the lil sandwich shop 4 days a week. I haven't been promoted yet but, they keep giving me executive decisions to make. I have well over a decade of experience in the service industry so, these decisions are a total no-brainer.

@neosporin

That stuff is magic. In two+ days I've brought this down to a scab with a pinkish ring by doing nothing but keeping it clean and dry. I have to work tomorrow so, chances are I'm going to bring it backwards a bit. I think I'm going to pull the finger cott off regularly to try and keep it dry as possible.

My finger isn't the only wound. I burned and cut myself left and right on those 2 days I worked with zero sleep. 2 burns are basically gone but I have another one that was really bad. It doesn't hurt but, it's ugly. The cut on my finger was a nothing when it happened... just a little clean slice but, I didn't clean it immediately, an infection set in and started making the cut worse. If I wouldn't have ignored it this thing would already be gone. I shoved an oyster shuck knife into the palm of my hand once and made this same stupid mistake. You would think that I would have learned by now that cleaning a cut as soon as it happens is the most important step towards healing.

[Baker]

Well, hang in there.

Although some people may say you are posting unusual stuff in the forum ...

If you are in dark time and need to draw strength somewhere, its the right thing to do. And if you need to find some source of connection, then do it.

[MadGypsy]

Actually, lol, I thought this thread was dead long ago. People kept replying so, I kept it going.

@dark time

Maybe 2 weeks ago. It definitely felt pretty dark when I started this thread and just before. Maybe I completely suck at expressing myself or something but, I'm actually doing pretty damn good right now and more good things seem to be just on the horizon. Maybe this next statement will accurately express where I am. If my job does not promote me in 6 weeks it will be immediately replaced with an even better job. I will keep doing this til I work for someone with a clue. I don't feel like it's very common that people form absolutely no complacency what-so-ever until they are 100% satisfied. Am I wrong to opine that most people settle for "good enough".

I appreciate your words though, Baker. My second trip here at Quakeone has given me a different opinion of who you are and what you are about. For the record I never thought you were a piece of shit or anything like that but, my respect levels for you are definitely higher than before, if that means anything to you.

As far as "other people" go. Good for them for having an opinion. If you ever catch me letting opinions crush me down or suppress me...worry. It's almost impossible to destroy real world problems that actually affect me, almost as fast as they appear, and then turn around and let an opinion take me down. It's like my IIRC fan club that is too chicken-shit to face me, they can talk all day and night about me but, my entire life keeps moving on in spite of anything they could ever say. In contrast, their life is on hold while they focus so hard on an avatar.

I believe I described them before as not only having no life but actually having an inverse one.

Edit: If it's any indicator, I'm chilling at the coffee shop surrounded by sexy college girls, small talking and working on some game content. Life is so dark and horrible... And let's say I made an effort to cook one of these girls dinner ~ my house is Martha Stewart immaculate and the fridge is full of options. Oh the despair

[MadGypsy]

Funny thing:

All kinds of instances have occured where somebody here decides to voice some negative opinion regarding me. Whether it be coming into one of my threads or going to some mod/admin with a sob story.

Where's my opinion? Where have I kicked off (started) putting "you" down? Ask any and all admins/mods how many times I've run to them for ANYTHING. Because the fact of these questions is never, when any one of y'all seems to think it's important to try and piss me off or taddle on me or form an entire hate group regarding me... the absolute only thing you accomolish is convince me you are a little bitch. I have met every last one of you that has the balls to confront me, head on and solo. At one point, half this site was pounding me and I stood my ground against every last one of ya (involved), told you flat out I would remain standing in the face of all of it... and here I stand. Let's not forget that for me to have to stand at all was kicked off by me coming here and stating exactly what I did with no attempt to even make it sound good. Do my haters/opiners have solid brass balls like that? I could have left it a secret forever. My supposed friends turned their back on me after my admission and I still refused to go down. When I came back, I did it knowing that some people were gonna hate me forever and due to my personality I was going to end up saying/doing things that made them positive they can't stand me. Yet, I do not pretend to be likable or make an effort to be something I am not to please these people. Do you understand what I'm saying? You have to do a hell of a lot better than think, say and feel things, even in groups, to conquer or dispell me. Your hate makes me stronger in the face of you. The harder you push, the harder I push back. Even if I'm holding a handful of shame for some mistake I made. You can't even scare me into pretending I didn't do it.

If that doesn't give "whomever" a clue about my hardcoreness, I have no idea how to enlighten you further.

[Baker]

I appreciate your words though, Baker. My second trip here at Quakeone has given me a different opinion of who you are and what you are about. For the record I never thought you were a piece of shit or anything like that but, my respect levels for you are definitely higher than before, if that means anything to you.

Or, maybe you have experienced personal growth.

I don't "suffer fools lightly" nor do I tolerate the presence of bad behavior in an environment I feel an attachment to. Because what I believe doesn't let me do that. I believe in the idea of that people only grow through struggling to overcome their own self-imposed limitations.

I accumulated some respect for your efforts that continually resulted in frustration. Because I saw you becoming "more" each day than the day before.

Shorter version: I didn't change. Someone else may have.

[wicked_lord]

@attention

I don't give a shit if you never pay attention again, bro... or anyone else for that matter. I would think after 5 years here it would start clicking for you that I don't give a crap what any of you do or think. If anything, I'm more like that now than ever. I'll pist a minute by minute update of the entire cellular structure of my wound if I want to and I don't give 2 fucks if you ever read it. Be glad you got your short explanation cause I don't owe you any explanations.

I love playing offense and defense, However I pick and choose those play's for both sides. A mental institution would be right up your alley!

I will gladly unfollow this thread as I certainly am not amused any longer by your posting of your injuries. At first it was like, well I can give some word's of whatever they may have been, now it's like, "ATTENTION WHORE ALERT" and I will move on. Enjoy your nutty life and seriously, Go seek mental help.

[H1CC]

It doesn't make him crazy just so want to show off a how fast a fucking finger cut can heal.
Guys show offa ll the time, he's just being a macho man showinf off to a community of people he enjoys being a part of.


And "attention whore alart"?
No, I don't think so.


I know wha tit's like for other people to think you're being an attention whore when you aren't actually being one.
I had bad experiences in the 'game clan' communities I was participating in in Jk2 and JK3 from mid-late 2011 up through the latter part of 2014-- I was basically cyberbullied by people because I didn't talk the same way they did, didn't conform to the same social standards and ideologies, didn't handle being bullied well and argued a lot on forums and ingame. It got to the point (and past it) that most of htem were convinced that I were the troll. But it was exactly what I said it was-- maybe a few personality flaws on my part, combined with their abhorrent sense of common decency, justifying allowing the intense trollin' and bullyin' of me on their sites/services to continue (and be a part of it as well).


MadGypsy is basically an analogue for a frenemy I had in those days who went by essenCe, he reminded me of him when I first met him (it came up after my initial argument with Talisa... when she mocked my 'post length' with a stupid animated .gif).
He's got the same philosohpies about 'the truth will set you free bro' amd how if you have problems with others, it's YOUR fault not theirs, and how you can change but can't change others, so be emotionally unpresonsive to bullies and protect yourself and yadda yadda yadda,,, urgh. basically quick to blame the person in question's emotional security and not the ills of society. but in that way MadGypsy is almost exactly like essenCe


I do, however, agree with Baker on the one part: It's not Baker that's changed but MadGypsy himself.
There's a difference between being 'mature' in being emotionally secure and being 'mature' in terms of understanding & respecting others... and I'm pretty sure it's the latter where MadGypsy is 'improving' if at all. I dom't think his recent 'threadmaking enthusiasm' is much more than being overzealous, so how can you guys say it's his prolbem and not equally as much yours for egging him on? and I appreciate the show-offery but is it really worth getting a nasty infection just to prove you're right about your healing capabilties?

[H1CC]

EDIT: Holy shit, duplicate post.
accursed forum bugs! this NEVER happens to me!

[Dutch]

Anyone commenting on this thread is doing so because they find some level of interest/entertainment in it. Doesn't matter if you're agreeing or bagging on gypsy. You're here cause you want to be.

Think gypsy's showing off? Then ignore him. Go play quake or mow the lawns or something.

Think gypsy has a valid thread? Keep up the disussion.

Either way, you're here cause you wanna be.

[Zop]

I'm here because I can't find the exit.

[MadGypsy]

LOL, you know the best part of all of this? Everyone involved could opine all year long about what/why/where/when/how regarding me but, every last one of you are missing the mark.

Baker could claim all day long he hasn't changed but, I could prove he has. Maybe not dramatically but change is change.

WL could bark like a Pomeranian til I neuter him and he'll just start barking louder to compensate for the removal of his balls. It's not a fair fight. This is the same guy that made a post complaining about people using words that were too complicated. I think the words he was referring to had at least 7 letters.

H1CC could swear til the end of time I'm showing off and it won't change the fact that that was not what was on my heart/mind when I posted that. I see where y'all think that but, that wasn't the point. There was one and only one point, preceded by all the answer you could ever need in the post right before it... I'm not running to the doctor or a medicine cabinet for every damn injury and I'm gonna be just fine. That's it. So simple. If I really wanted to show off, I promise you I could do a hell of a lot better than healing a little sore on my thumb. I already know you people know this. If anyone doesn't already know this...re: tons of things I can do that "you" can't and I've been doing some of them here all along. For all intents and purposes I could rebuild Quake from the ground up entirely by myself to about 80ish% mmmkay? The remaining percent is strictly engine related and may not be anywhere near the <= 20% I'm claiming to keep me honest. I mean what am I...some working lightmaps and collision detection away from completely utilizing BSP? I guaran-fuckin-tee you the rest of the engine stuff would be much easier past that and the game code would be a doddle, for me. I don't need to show off with a sore thumb. I'm super fucking talented and intelligent. Anyone that hasn't realized this is completely brain-dead!

@Frenemy

I am not your enemy at all. Never was and never had (nor have) any intention of becoming that. Personally, I like well-spoken, friendly people...and you are that. I know you didn't call me a frenemy but, you did associate me with one.

@Dutch

No friggin doubt, brotha.

@Zop

I can show you the exit. It's right behind me.

[Baker]

I'm super fucking talented and intelligent. Anyone that hasn't realized this is completely brain-dead!

Yeah, and with no self-control.

And self-control is the only thing that matters. You'll initially think this is an insult, but its not.

Intelligence without self-control = futility.

Because you have to master yourself first. Before you can have self-control, you have to have self-awareness.

People with self-control and self-awareness are their own masters and achieve the things they want.

People that don't, don't achieve the things they want, because they lose the battle within themselves every time, maybe not at first, but eventually.

You can't be your own worst enemy and win. You have to conquer yourself first. Once you do, you only do things that further your interests and goals and you get to decide where, when and why.

[Zop]

I mean no ill will... but do I have to answer a riddle to get past you?

[MadGypsy]

@baker - no insult taken...because you are very wrong

I quit drinking after a decade+ of doing nothing but drinking with ZERO support due to amazing self control
I have not smoked a cigarette since the day I stated here that I quit... FYI I smoked for !29 years!
I quit an unhealthy relationship that has spanned 8ish years with a girl that I love very much and I have not looked back.
When I was banned from here I learned PERL specifically to bring this site to it's knees. I promise you I can. Do you know why I didn't? Because of all the people here that have invested their time and efforts without doing a damn thing to me. If you think it didn't take a hell of a lot of self control to put the greater good above a lesson I desired nothing less than to teach vehemently, while also absolutely wielding the power to teach it, I have no greater example.

I have amazing self control. You are confusing the lack of self control with random lacks of utilizing it.

[Baker]

@baker - no insult taken...because you are very wrong

I quit drinking after a decade+ of doing nothing but drinking with ZERO support due to amazing self control
I have not smoked a cigarette since the day I stated here that I quit... FYI I smoked for !29 years!
I quit an unhealthy relationship that has spanned 8ish years with a girl that I love very much and I have not looked back.
When I was banned from here I learned PERL specifically to bring this site to it's knees. I promise you I can. Do you know why I didn't? Because of all the people here that have invested their time and efforts without doing a damn thing to me. If you think it didn't take a hell of a lot of self control to put the greater good above a lesson I desired nothing less than to teach vehemently, while also absolutely wielding the power to teach it, I have no greater example.

I have amazing self control. You are confusing the lack of self control with random lacks of utilizing it.

The quitting drinking/smoking things are impressive.

The 2nd paragraph is what I meant.

Control is an illusion. People only have control over themselves. They don't have control over others. Trying to obtain control over others is a waste of time. An enormous waste of time.

Life is way too short to waste on things that don't matter, you never get to reclaim that time -- and if you have a goal or something you want, you may in retrospect wish you used it differently.

People who spend their time and energy on the things they want, may just get those things.

People who spend their time on what they don't want, sadly may just get those things (i.e. you may get more of what you don't want).

It's a subconscious thing too, some will claim --- that if you have positive goals it is like swimming upstream --- and that if you have negative goals, it is like trying to swim against the tide.