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women/wives part4

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  • women/wives part4

    So we have been maried of 3 years now and we are pretty close. Today we were at home and I was going to go out to eat and asked her to come with me and she was listening to her playlist. She didnnot respond and then I asked her if sure she said f word. So I quietly left myself. What would you do?

  • #2
    I would've said "Fuck you too" right back at her. But that's me. I wouldn't recommend anyone else doing it. Most women tend to take exception to a man spitting attitude back in their face, ya know? Difference with me is... I don't give a shit if she packs her shit and leaves. Love is one thing, but I don't love ANYONE enough to be their doormat.


    • #3
      I read that name somewhere...

      OH YEAH! The guy who has a special random map generator (SLIGE, right?) available for Blasphemer and formerly Freedoom!

      Anyway, she was listening to her playlist, so i dont think she actually meant it on purpose. I could be wrong though. Maybe she just didnt like being disturbed while listening to her playlist.

      Ask her again, when she is not busy with something.


      • #4
        LoL. My wife would have gotten a fuck you right back. I put up with her attitudes and she puts up with mine and when we have our debates (most call them arguments) we have said a lot worse to eachother during those debates, a simple fuck you right back would have dropped her panties and out to lunch I go.


        • #5
          lol, we have said fuck you back an forth. jokingly..
          we rarely stay mad for a few minutes..


          • #6
            I got out of a joint "fuck you" relationship and I will never be in one again. I don't want that in my life. There are already too many "fuck you's" in this world. It goes beyond that with me though. I don't want to hear about your shitty day and I'm not sharing mine either. Personally, I feel like your partner should be a reprieve from the bullshit and negativity. That's one of the things that makes it special. Fighting each other and dragging your miserable day into the relationship, is crap.

            I had a rough go at not sharing my miserable day, for a good long time. I've learned to evaporate it before I walk in my house. It's so much nicer. It gets easier when you start to realize it, too.

            As far as the OPs girl goes... these days I would probably clearly state something like "music isn't more important than you. [big smile]" give her a big hug and kiss and completely drop it. I'd then leave alone and give her plenty of time to think about "fuck you". Saying "fuck you" back is terribly uncreative and obvious.

            Imagine if your girl expressed her actual feelings "I was looking forward to listening to my playlist and I finally got a chance. It's really all I want to do right now."... and then you simply respect that. That's the level I am working for. Simple communication and respect. "fuck you" relationships are miserable and don't last unless you end up communicating and respecting at some point. If you are in a FU relationship, and it has lasted, you must already be sharing comm & resp moments. Why not skip the bullshit and make them all comm & resp moments? Imagine being empowered by a respect that allows you an earnesty which garners better results than the ones you are ready to fight for.
            Last edited by MadGypsy; 08-02-2016, 08:52 PM.


            • #7
              Just my opinion here...

              That's great in theory, but it's usually not a realistic expectation. Men are simply wired differently than women. You can explain the benefits of not shitting in one anothers ears with daily rants about your shitty day, and they can agree with the logic of it then and there, but... inevitably they will have a day so shitty that they just can't contain themselves anymore. They'll unburden themselves upon you, and if you choose to point out that you both agreed NOT to do that kind of thing, they'll cleverly find a way to accuse you of not caring about them. How dare you! Look, she's crying now! Look at what you've done!

              Sigh. Womerns.

              It might be annoying as fuck at times, but it's usually best to simply endure her shitty day stories. Just remember to NEVER respond to it with anything like, "You should've done X instead of Y." WRONG MOVE! NEVER do that. It's gonna seem like the most natural logical thing to say, but don't take that bait. Women don't want your opinion. They want your support. If you're clever enough, you can actually offer support and through the use of well worded and well timed questions, manipulate their thought process into arriving at the same conclusion and opinion that you have about it. However, this approach is like tip toeing through a mine field. No matter how skilled you are, eventually you're gonna make the wrong move and shit's gonna blow up, and the odds of this happening increases with every outing. So use this tactic sparingly.


              • #8
                You are mostly right. What I said is valid and possible, though. I did not speak with the utmost clarity. There are absolutely going to come times where either of you are going to need to talk to the other about negative things you encountered throughout your day, and you should, that's part of being there for one another. However, those things can be shared without reliving the entire experience. I can remember numerous bad days that I drug in their entirety straight into my home and essentially dumped in my girl's lap. Without even trying I made my girl's day as shitty as mine. One day I just stopped doing that but, I noticed my girl didn't. At first I tried the "figure it out" approach where I simply waited for her to realize that "we don't do that anymore". That didn't work, it was too far gone at that point. I then tried having a level headed discussion about where things are and the direction I would like to grow in. That mostly worked.

                When she would slip, I would let her rant for a minute and then break in with a story for her about how my day was awesome until the big negative monster walked through my door and how she isn't sharing the facts of her negative day she is becoming MY negative day.

                "Go scream at your boss/problem/whatever. I'm not here to be an outlet for everything you were too afraid to do in the actual situation. How rude of you to dump your bad day in my lap. I don't do this to you and I don't want this in my life. Advance yourself."

                And that's some case closed stuff right there. At that point she has 2 decisions let it go or leave. There is more than one way to be a door mat. I don't even want people wiping their feet on me.

                @No matter how skilled you are, eventually you're gonna make the wrong move and shit's gonna blow up, and the odds of this happening increases with every outing. So use this tactic sparingly.

                Maybe if you aren't a man in your own damn house. I say it's done and it's fuckin done and I don't think there has been a girl in the last decade of my life that doesn't fully understand...either your problem or you are leaving...choose what is more important to you - relinquishing your bad day or make it worse all alone. You have to wear the balls in the family, bro. If your girl actually likes/loves you and wants to keep you around, she's gonna learn real quick. It should be this way from the other perspective too. If your guy is always angry/negative teach him right off the bat that either he or the drama are gone and no matter how much of a shame it might be, that's just the facts of how it's going down. The only caveat is you better make damn sure you aren't bringing drama of your own or you don't have a leg to stand on.

                My current relationship is very young (weeks) but, I think I picked a good one. She seems a lot more interested in being happy together than well, just about anything else. We'll see.

                PS> My whole "don't bring home the drama" thing applies even if nobody is going to be there but you. Leave the negativity blocks and blocks (miles) away. It's interesting how much nicer your home is when bullshit is entirely banned from it.
                Last edited by MadGypsy; 08-03-2016, 11:59 AM.


                • #9


                  • #10

                    You choose your fate. Whatever it is, you lead yourself there.

                    So, I think the most important aspect of this scenario is how you choose to respond.
                    And how you choose to feel about it.

                    I will say this:

                    If you have much self control - never escalate harsh words. Let me repeat "NEVER ESCALATE". Ever.

                    Good luck!
                    numbersix - Mod DB [_] Six Gaming

                    Support free code and get credit! - Hint "Pledge 24" comes with extra releases.


                    • #11
                      It's not so much of a gender thing as it is a personality thing. I was with a girl that almost NEVER expressed her day to me, unless some serious shit had gone down. I was the same way. We got along really well besides the fact she cheated.

                      Other girls I've known want to talk about all of their emotions, which wears on me a bit.

                      What I'm getting at, is if you are in an advanced relationship with someone who repeatedly irritates you because of both of your conflicting personalities, the relationship is being forced and it should have never even started. I'm pretty blunt, straightforward, and honest. When a gal asks my opinion, I tell her what I think, not always what she wants to hear. I expect the same in return. No one should be a doormat, male of female.

                      I consider this blunt trait a kind of buffer: if a girl isn't similar to me in this regard, neither one of us is going to like each other and the relationship ends real soon. We go on with our lives.
                      'Replacement Player Models' Project


                      • #12